First Year
by Shannon R
Summary: Carlisle made the difficult decision to change 13 year-old Sunny into a vampire before her cancer could kill her. This is Sunny's first year as a Cullen and a vampire.
1. Preface

**This story takes place after "Eclipse" and before "Breaking Dawn."  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own and I did not create these characters (except Sunny and Beth). All other characters belong to Stephenie Meyer ONLY!**

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**Clara's POV**

"I love you, Clara. Please forgive me," Carlisle's voice whispered.

Fire consumed my body. Every fiber of my being was ravaged by pain. My toes, my fingers, even my eyes hurt. I could feel it in my skin, my muscles, my veins, coursing through my blood. It lasted forever. It had to have been weeks, months, years that I suffered, but who knew.

The pain seemed almost determined. It had a target, my heart. I was helpless to stop it. I couldn't move. I wanted to scream but there was screaming all around me now. It would fade in and out, muffled voices would come and go, but nothing around me was ever clear. Nothing was comforting. I was alone in this torture. I was helpless.

Was this what it was like to die? Funny, but I had always pictured it so differently. I thought I would see my mom. I thought she would be waiting for me in a beautiful, bright light. The kind of light they talk about on ghost hunting shows. Where was the damn light? Where was my mom? Why was I in pain? I never imagined that death would hurt this much. Was I in hell? Why would I go to hell? What? You cheat on one test in fifth grade and that's it, eternal pain and damnation? It made no sense.

Was it because I lived with vampires? Well, that was a stupid reason for being in hell, too. You can't help who you fall in love with and the Cullens were more than I could have ever asked for. I was proud they had been my family. I was proud that they had loved me. I would gladly stay in hell forever if that were something that had to be paid for. I had never deserved them anyway.

There was a sudden, low growl in the distance. It made the screaming stop for a moment. That was a relief, but the relief only lasted a moment. The screaming turned to crying as the pain slowly started seeping from my fingers, down my arms, through my chest. The numbness was comforting, soothing after the pain.

The crying became hysterical, fear-filled as the numbness edged towards my heart. It was still beating. I could feel it. I wasn't dead.

Well, then what was happening to me? Where was everyone? Why did they leave me? That was when I noticed the pressure on my fingers. Someone was holding my hand. I wanted to squeeze their fingers, let them know that I was all right. I had survived the pain. It would end soon. I would die and the pain would, too.

It happened so suddenly that I almost missed it. My heart jolted then stopped, just like that. One moment it was beating and the next it was still.

I was still alive. I was breathing. The moment that I realized that my now useless lungs were still giving me breath, it clicked. I was a vampire now. I was truly a member of the family. I could stay.


	2. Chapter Two: Awakening

When I finally was able to open my eyes, hours after the pain had ended, I was sure that I had been completely wrong in my earlier assumption. I didn't change into a vampire; I was trapped in some weird dream. Everything around me was too clear, too vivid, and bright. It was surreal.

I was still in the bedroom Alice had decorated for me with its soaring clouds and shining lanterns, but when I looked up at the ceiling, I could see the brush strokes in the paint of the clouds. I could make out each fiber and the intricate texture of the crepe material of the lanterns. I could make out the elaborate lines and hues in the butterscotch color of Carlisle's eyes.

It had taken me a moment to realize that he was standing next to my bed, sadness and relief both obvious in his expression. My first thought was to jump up and throw myself into his arms but I was already there. It was as if the thought had forced my body to react.

He hugged me with a fierceness that I would never have thought he would be capable of. It reminded me of when I had been about five and had gotten lost in a department store while I was shopping with my mom. I had searched for her for what seemed like forever. I went up and down aisle after aisle then I rounded a corner and there she was. The way she ran to me and yanked me into her arms was exactly the way Carlisle held me now, as if he thought he had lost me and then found me safe and unharmed.

For the first time since I meet Carlisle, he didn't feel cold and rock-solid to me. It was actually comfortable for me to be in his arms. We were the same temperature. I rested my head against his stomach. He let me rest there for a long time, my arms wrapped around his waist, his arms wrapped around my shoulders. Although his voice was low, it startled me when he spoke. "How do you feel, Clara? Are you still in pain?" His voice broke at the end of his question and I looked up at him.

"No, Carlisle. I'm fine now." When I reached down to take his hand; that was when the vision came. It was like a slideshow playing itself in my head. The first image was of a man dressed in very old-fashioned clothes holding a blond haired baby. The next image was of a blond boy in a cathedral-like church, gazing up at the same man with complete adoration. When the image changed again, it was of that same boy, now clearly a man, being attacked by a vampire on a dark street. The images came faster: the blond man bending over a sick boy in a hospital bed, the man bending in the same way over a dying woman. That same blond man was in every image. It was Carlisle. I was seeing his life, not just his vampire life, but his human life as well. I gasped and quickly jumped away from him, a growl ripping itself from my throat before I was even aware it was happening.

He approached me slowly, his hands rose cautiously out in front of his body as he stepped slowly closer to me. Emmett and Jasper appeared out of nowhere, their eyes quickly taking in the scene in front of them as I backed myself away, edging closer to the window behind me. "Carlisle?" Jasper questioned softly.

I could feel Jasper's confusion. I could feel him feeling that confusion from me. It was like an aura around him, it was pulsating off him, reflecting back on me. What was happening to me? I squatted in the corner, curling into myself with my head in my hands. Dry, wracking sobs tore from my chest as my entire body shook.

I didn't understand any of it, not the visions, or the feelings from Jasper. As Carlisle tentatively stepped forward, I unexpectedly felt something else. As he got closer, I could feel his essence, his innate goodness, his humor, and his patience. I was surrounded by those feelings as he scooped me from the floor, holding me in his arms.

I wrapped myself around him again as my sobs subsided. I still had my head buried against his shoulder when Carlisle's essence was intermixed with Emmett's, taking on a much stronger sense of humor and a carefree feel. One of Emmett's big hands reached up to rest against my back. "What happened, Clara?"

My eyes were still wide with confusion when I turned my attention to him. "I just…" How would I make any of them understand? "I saw something." I replied lamely. Emmett's eyes flickered to Carlisle and I felt Carlisle shrug.

"You saw what, Clara, what did you see that frightened you so badly?" I could tell from the tone of Emmett's voice that he would have beat whatever it was to a bloody pulp if he could. The idea made me smile.

I looked up into Carlisle's eyes, frowning in confusion again. "Was your dad a priest?"

His arms stiffened around me for a moment and shock filled his features as he stared at me incredulously. He had never explained anything to me about his past. No one had ever really told me about their lives. They had all been trying so hard to act human, be "normal" around me. Edward was the only one who knew that I had figured out their secret. The little mental spy…

"Clara, you _saw _my father?" Carlisle was gaping at me. So, I was right. It had been Carlisle in my visions. I nodded mutely, too shocked by my realization to speak.

"So then you see ghosts?" Jasper inquired. He took one careful step towards us from across the room, his eyes locked with mine. A feeling of peace bounced between Jasper and I as he tried to calm the tension in the room.

I shook my head at his question. I knew explaining this wouldn't be easy. "I saw a man holding a baby and then I saw a blond boy in a church watching a sermon." I frowned as I concentrated on remembering the pictures in my head. I wanted to be as clear as possible. "I saw the blond boy after he grew up and he was a man and he was attacked by a vampire on a dark street." The words began to pour out of my mouth as everything became clearer. "I saw you change Edward and Esme." I looked up at Carlisle briefly before turning away. "That's it. After that I freaked out and you guys came in." My eyes traveled from Emmett to Jasper before I dropped my gaze to the floor, studying every thread and fiber in the carpet as I waited for someone to react in some way to what I had just admitted.

Emmett's booming laughter would have given me a heart attack if my heart were still beating. "Wow! You're one special little kid!" He grabbed me from Carlisle, pulling me into a bear hug. My fingers brushed against his neck as I tried to wiggle out of his grip. I got a quick flash of a massive man with curly, dark hair being mauled by a bear and I gasped.

"Is that why you're such a big teddy bear, Emmett? Because you were almost killed by one?" I laughed at his expression until he growled, frowning at me with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Hmmm…what else can you do, I wonder…" He was slowly edging towards the window as he spoke, his eyes flickering from me to the ground outside with a smirk. I had to think fast.

"She can feel the energy behind my ability when I access it, for one." Jasper's words froze both Carlisle and Emmett in place. I'd have to remember to thank Jasper for that one later.

"Yeah, I can feel you using it. When you came in, I could feel your confusion and then I could feel my confusion from you when you felt it from me. It was bouncing back and forth between us for a while. Now that feeling of peace that you're putting out is bouncing around, too."

Jasper shook his head in amazement. "Two abilities. It's remarkable."

I shook my head. "I think there's three, actually. When Carlisle came closer to me to pick me up off the floor, I could feel his patience and his sense of humor and I could feel that he's a good person."

Jasper's face held a strange expression. He was frowning very intensely, his eyes still locked on my face as he thought about what I said. The sense of peace that he was willing into the room didn't change but his face looked troubled. He must be good at controlling his ability. Was he mad at me because my ability was too much like his? Was he thinking that maybe this meant he wasn't special and unique anymore? Just the idea of it made me sad.

Jasper rushed to my side when he felt my sadness. His hand rested comfortingly on my shoulder. It seemed like he was being careful not to make contact with my skin. He posture seemed stiff. "Why the sadness? What are you thinking?"

Could I tell him the truth? "Jasper," I began hesitantly, "my ability really isn't like yours, you know. I don't feel everyone's emotions and I can't control anything. You're still unique." My voice trailed off. That didn't come out right and I knew it. I sighed as I waited for his reaction.

A grin broke out on his face and he laughed. "You were sad because you thought I didn't feel _special _anymore?" He grabbed me from Emmett's arms hugging me to him tight. "Clara, I was merely assessing the situation, just as I always do. I was thinking of you, of how this all could be possible. Granted, you were a remarkably intuitive child as a human. You have always been able to figure out so much without any hints or clues. However, this… this is remarkable. Just…uncanny." He was shaking his head in awe now.

I let out a huge sigh of relief and reached up to put my hand to Jasper's cheek. Emmett snatched me from Jasper's arms before I got a chance to touch him, growling at me again as his expression became stern. "No! You must never try to see Jasper's life, Clara. I mean it, not ever! Not until he's explained what you would see. Understand?"

I've never heard Emmett so upset, so freaked out before. I nodded at him, my mouth hanging open in shock. "Yeah, I got it." I whispered.

Emmett's expression immediately changed when he realized he had scared me a little. "Awe, I'm sorry, Clara. I didn't mean to startle you." He hugged me again and I felt the tension leave my body.

I smiled, hugging him back. "It's ok. You just surprised me."

A noise from outside suddenly grabbed everyone's attention. There was a rustling sound, the sound of twigs breaking and brush being kicked. Something was wandering the woods. That was when the smell got to me. There was a very distinct, sour odor mixed with a scent warmer and more mouthwatering than cinnamon.

I lost all control, my senses completely took over as I leapt from Emmett's arms and bounded out of the closed window. I was barely aware of the sound of the glass breaking as I hit the ground, running.


	3. Chapter Three: First Hunt

I could hear the others panicking behind me but I was too lost in the scent to stop. I _had _to find the source of that scent. The trees whizzed by in a blur as I ran but I never got tired. The scent was getting stronger the further I ran. I could hear Jasper, Carlisle, and Emmett as they were getting closer but I still kept going. The scent was so strong now that my mouth began to water.

I came to an abrupt stop when the source of the smell finally came into view. A hunter had his gun trained on a cougar about a hundred feet away from where I stood.

I heard Jasper stop about six feet away from me; Carlisle and Emmett were about four feet behind him. I knew Jasper could feel my tension as I took in the scene in front of me but I didn't pay any attention to any of them.

I took one step closer to the hunter and could feel Jasper step with me. There was no way he was giving me any space to strike without his approval. The closer I got to the hunter, the more intense the sour smell became. Interesting…

I took a few slow, measured steps towards the cougar and my mouth started to water again. I was about to pounce when Jasper pounced first, landing on me with such precision that he managed to completely avoid touching my skin. I tried to fight him off, kicking and wiggling but he was sitting on my back with my arms in his grasp. I wasn't going anywhere. I could hear the sounds of the hunter and the cougar as they both took off running. "Jasper, get off!" I shrieked, trying to fight him again. There was no give to his grip.

"Not until you calm down, Clara." A sense of calm radiated off him onto me but his tone was tense. When Emmett was standing next to us, Jasper finally eased up and let me go. As soon as I was on my feet Emmett scooped me up into his arms and stomped towards the house again. His grip was just as hard to escape as Jasper's had been.

"Jeez, Clara! You nearly gave us all a heart attack back there! What were you thinking, running off like that?" His stern voice was back again. "And you have no idea how to hunt yet, either. You don't ever hunt around humans like that! When the thirst hits, humans could get hurt!"

I scowled up at him, my arms wrapped tight across my chest. "Humans smell like sour milk. What the heck am I going to eat one of them for?"

Everyone suddenly came to a dead stop. They were all staring at me like I had just admitted to giving birth to an alien baby or something. "What?"

Carlisle recovered first. "He didn't smell appealing to you at all?" I shook my head adamantly.

Carlisle grinned at me proudly and pried me away from Emmett. "Fascinating." He looked astounded for a moment before he frowned at me thoughtfully, seeming to really look at me for the first time. "Your eyes are black, Clara."

I didn't know how to take that. "Is that bad?"

All three of them laughed at my question. "No, Sunny. That's not bad at all. It's just that most vampires are born with red eyes and are drawn to human blood the way you were drawn to that cougar. It's unusual that you should have the opposite reaction."

"Oh," I muttered. Ok, so as a human I wasn't like other kids because I was sick. Now, as a vampire, I'm not like other vampires because humans smell like garbage to me. Fabulous.

Carlisle misunderstood my reaction. "I know I didn't explain that very well. I'm sorry if it sounded as if I meant that there is something wrong with you." His gentle tone became firm. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. In fact, I'm very proud of you. Normally, it takes a great amount of focus and control to be able to do what you just did. Humans smell so desirable to us that it can take decades to learn enough control to be able to interact with them. That will never be a problem for you apparently." As he said this, his proud grin returned. I would have been blushing if I could.

All of this talk about blood preferences was making the burning, dry ache in the throat unbearable. I turned to glare at Emmett and Jasper. "That's all really interesting but I'm still thirsty. Can I hunt _now_?"

Jasper and Emmett exchanged a worried glance before Jasper came to stand by my side. His expression was solemn. "Alright, but you stay right with us and do exactly as you're told." I nodded impatiently, willing to agree to whatever it would take to make this insufferable ache go away.

We began to walk soundlessly through the forest, my ears taking in every sound around me with perfect clarity. I could hear birds fluttering their wings as they took off from the trees. I could hear the sound of the river near the house as clearly as if I were standing right next to it, the roar of the water rushing through it was soothing, a distraction from the pain of the ache in my throat.

Now, I could hear footsteps and the sound of a wet, strong heartbeat. The ache blazed as the smell hit me again. Emmett placed a restraining hand on my shoulder as my body stiffened. "I'll carry you again if I have to."

I glared up at him. "No, you won't! I can take care of myself. I told you, I'd listen to you, just hurry it up already. The thirst is _killing_ me!"

He laughed, finally becoming himself as the smell became a distraction for me again. Maybe having him carry me wasn't such a bad idea. I wasn't sure if I had the strength to resist pouncing once the source of the smell came into view.

I was grateful when Carlisle took my hand as we all started forward again. I knew he could easily pull me back if I lost control for a second time.

We went no further than another hundred feet before a buck edged out into our path. I felt Carlisle's arm stiffen when the animal came into view. I could feel his eyes on me, warily watching my every move, waiting to see if I would lose control again. I fidgeted nervously as the urge to strike became almost overwhelming. I was barely aware of Carlisle's voice above me. "Pay attention to Jasper, Clara. Watch how your brother does it."

I groaned faintly as I tore my eyes away from the prey, forcing myself to give my attention to Jasper. He waited until he was sure he had my full attention before he spoke so softly that I was sure the animal was still oblivious to our presence. "You don't want the animal to suffer, remember. You want to strike as swiftly and precisely as possible. Listen."

I had no idea what I was supposed to be listening for until I heard it. I could almost see it, the vein pulsing hot, sweet blood through the buck's neck. I could practically see the flow coursing through that vein; even through its skin. I was barely aware that my body had moved at all until Carlisle's grip became firm. "Clara." The sudden firmness in his voice brought my attention back to what I was supposed to be doing. I peeked up at him meekly before turning back to Jasper.

"That vein is your target, Clara. You must aim for that." Without warning, he lunged so gracefully that I gasped. The animal clearly was caught off guard and gave no struggle as Jasper fed from its neck. Within a few minutes, the lifeless corpse dropped from Jasper's arms and fell to the ground. There wasn't a drop of blood spilled, no sign whatsoever that he had just fed from a two hundred pound animal, completely draining it.

I edged forward, eager to have my turn but there was nothing in the immediate vicinity to feed from. Carlisle's grip loosened a bit as he too realized that there was no cause for concern anymore. Carlisle and Emmett kept close to my side as I wandered, looking for my own prey.

About a mile from where Jasper had fed from the buck, I finally heard another strong, wet heartbeat. This one was beating faster than the buck's had. I could clearly hear whatever it was as it ran swiftly towards us, seeming to be completely unaware that it was running straight towards its own death. The coyote came panting into view a few seconds later, stopping as its instincts finally kicked in. It sensed us now. It knew that other predators were nearby.

"Slowly, Clara. Take your time and focus," Jasper breathed at me. My eyes easily honed in on the exact spot on the coyote's neck where I wanted to strike. At just the thought of striking, my body shot forward, knocking the coyote to the ground before it had a chance to realize that I was on top of it.

The moment when my sharp teeth sank into the coyote's flesh and its hot, sweet blood poured into my mouth, everything seems to move in slow motion. There was nothing but me, the animal in my arms and the flow of its blood as it slid down my throat. Too soon, the flow of blood turned to a trickle and the coyote was drained dry. I let it fall from my hands, just as Jasper had with the buck, and stood.

Everyone was staring. I wiped my mouth and looked around me frantically for a moment, wondering what I had done wrong. I had gotten some blood around my mouth but didn't ruin my clothes. Had I taken too much blood, drained the animal too completely? "What?" I finally asked.

When Emmett finally spoke, he sounded shocked. "Wow. That was…. Wow."

"Impressive," Jasper commented with a smile of approval. I finally let myself relax.

The ache in my throat had eased a bit but it was still there. I was about to ask if we could keep hunting when I heard a car pull into the driveway at the house. Without thinking, I zoomed past my family and raced back in the direction of home.

When the house came into view, I saw a glimpse of a shiny silver Volvo before it disappeared into the garage. I made it under the door before it had even started to descend. "Edward!" I pounced. He caught me easily with a smirk, one eyebrow cocked at me in amusement.

"Hello, Sunny." His expression suddenly changed as he caught the scent off my clothes. "You weren't just wandering the woods by yourself, were you?" He frowned. I could smell the pine scent lingering in my hair.

"She was _supposed _to be with us." Emmett commented as he easily lifted the garage door. Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett all were wearing identical frowns as they wandered into the garage and over to where Edward stood, holding me. He held me a bit tighter. _Oh great._

Edward's jaw tightened. "So running off without anyone with you has become a habit for you, has it?" Obviously, he had caught a glimpse of my earlier escape through someone's thoughts. Jasper looked a bit smug.

"Yeah… well… it was the scent…and it was so strong…. and I didn't even know I was doing it…I just jumped." My voice, barely a meek whisper at the beginning of my speech, had trailed off completely by the end.

A low growl rumbled in Edward's throat as he made his way into the house, still holding me in his arms. I didn't make a sound as he stomped up the stairs and down the hall, into my bedroom. His glare fixed on the broken window for a moment before he turned that glare to me. "You're fixing it before Esme sees."

My mouth fell open and, for a moment, I forgot whom I was talking to. "I don't know how to fix it! How the hell am I gonna do _that_?"

"Clara. Elizabeth. Cullen." I realized my mistake a moment too late. "I don't _ever _want you taking that tone with anyone again. Am I understood?" His light brown eyes were blazing.

"Yes, Edward." I managed weakly.

Edward sighed in frustration. Without another word, and before I realized what he was doing, he was at my bedside, yanking down the sheets. He gently placed me down, tucking me into the enormous bed. "It would be to your benefit if you stayed right here for the remainder of the night." His tone was still angry; disappointment had mixed in as well.

I just gaped at him for a moment, too stunned to speak. _The remainder of the night, but it was only seven thirty! _I could feel a slight pressure in my head when Edward cocked one eyebrow at my thought, his expression daring me to say it out loud. His jaw twitched and I fidgeted under his gaze.

I laid back before I could get myself into any more trouble, yawning as my head hit the pillow. Edward suddenly looked concerned. "Carlisle." He called softly.

I knew Carlisle could hear him and he was at my bedside before I could blink. "What's the matter, Edward?" I could see concern filling Carlisle's features as he took in Edward's expression.

"She yawned," was all Edward said before Carlisle disappeared. He reappeared moments later with his black doctor bag in his hand.

I groaned automatically at seeing that damn bag. The pressure returned to my head as Edward growled at me again. I flinched, pouting at the sheets. "Sorry," I muttered.

I heard Carlisle's bag open and felt the stethoscope as he brought it to my chest. I looked up. Edward had sat down at the end of the bed, his eyes watching my every move.

I don't know why Carlisle was bothering to listen to my heart. It wasn't beating. He obviously came to the same conclusion as he dropped the stethoscope back into his bag. He frowned at me curiously and reached out to feel my forehead. His hand wasn't cold against my skin as it was the last time he had done this. The frown remained on his face as this too brought him no answers.

I yawned a second time, my eyes starting to droop as my father and my brother stared in shock and concern. Before my eyes closed, I saw Carlisle settle himself at the end of the bed next to Edward. I knew that neither one of them would move again that night.


	4. Chapter Four: Specter

**Please read and review! This story has only gotten 7 reviews so far. I'm dying to know what you think! THANKS!**

**Bella's POV**

"Where's Edward?" I asked cautiously. Ever since he had returned from our nightmarish separation, it was impossible for us to stay away from each other. I knew that he never would send Alice to pick me up in his place without a good reason. I had just seen him not even a full day before and his eyes had been a light golden brown. He wouldn't need to hunt so that excuse was gone.

Alice didn't look at me and the car never slowed from its break-neck pace as she answered. "He's with Sunny." Her tone had been too careful, too light. Something was wrong.

"What happened to Sunny?" My eyes narrowed with suspicion as my heart started to race.

Alice rolled her eyes and sighed at me, finally giving me her attention as the car sped along toward her home. "She's fine, Bella. She just had a rough night. Edward was concerned; you know how he can get, so he decided to keep an eye on her. That's it."

I still wasn't convinced. "What do you mean by 'a rough night?'" I knew it had to be pretty bad for him to not want to leave her side, not even to come get me.

Alice groaned dramatically. "Sunny slept." She threw a glare at me before I could speak again. "Yeah, I know…I know. Vampires don't sleep and that's really weird and not good but Carlisle is looking into it so don't worry, ok?" She eyed me critically until I nodded.

When we finally pulled into the Cullens' garage, it took every ounce of willpower I had not to jump out of the car and race into the house. Knowing me, I would fall on my face and then Edward would have two people to worry about instead of just one.

I had barely opened the door to the main house when three things happened at the same time. First, Alice gasped and became very still. Then I heard a shriek and Sunny shout, "No, Edward! She wants me! I don't want to go!" The next thing I knew, I was being grabbed around the waist and seated in Edward's car.

By the time I had a moment to catch my breath; Alice was wandering over to join the rest of us. She opened the back passenger side door calmly and got in to sit next to Sunny. Both her and I locked our eyes on Edward at the same time. "Would you like to explain or shall I?" Alice inquired with a smirk.

Edward threw a glare at her before turning his attention to me. His eyes were wide with shock. His complexion seemed paler than usual. He was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that I wondered how it was that it didn't break apart in his hands.

"We saw my mom!" Sunny exclaimed. The look Edward threw her was furious. Sunny immediately looked chastised and dropped her eyes to her hands as she fidgeted with them in her lap. "Well, we did," she whispered to herself but Edward had turned back to stare blankly out of the windshield in front of him.

Alice sighed in exasperation when Edward didn't speak. "Sunny thought she heard her mom's voice in her dreams but when she woke up she actually _saw _her mom standing in her room. Edward saw Beth through Sunny's thoughts, freaked out and now here we are." Leave it to Alice to make such a tense and anxious moment seem so trivial.

"I want to go back," I heard Sunny whisper to Alice. Edward's jaw twitched but his eyes never moved. "No." His voice was flat and his tone was final.

Sunny was now the one who was furious. "Oh yeah? So then what are we going to do, Edward, run away? She…is…a…. GHOST! She could just follow us if she wanted to! And it's me she wants, not you! If you're so scared then you don't have to be there."

This time when Edward turned to her with the same furious expression as before, Sunny didn't turn away. She glared right back at him. Edward closed his eyes for a moment, clearly trying to calm himself down before he spoke. "I don't want you going anywhere near the specter…"

"It's my _mom_, Edward!"

He sighed. "It could be a trick."

Sunny laughed. "How could it be a trick? Who would do that?"

Edward seemed to think about this. "I won't have you in any situation that we don't understand. Trick or not."

"And what if she comes back when you're not here? Alice can't predict when she might show up again. What then?"

Alice looked mildly offended by this. Sunny shrugged at her. "You don't know my mom and you've never been a ghost so it's probably a pretty safe bet that you won't be able to see when she might come back. No offense, Alice." Alice looked slightly mollified and turned her attention back to Edward.

Edward closed his eyes again, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, struggling to remain in control of himself.

I reached out to gently pry his fingers loose, holding his cold, hard hand in mine. I knew that the uncertainty of the situation was killing him. This was his little sister, after all. His brotherly instincts were on overdrive.

"Maybe if you just let me go back and talk to her…" Sunny's tone became tentative as she watched Edward's reaction carefully. "Maybe then she won't come back." She could see Edward was about to protest and quickly continued, "You can be there, and I won't let go of you once, if you want, ok?" Her voice became sad, pleading. "Please Edward. I just want to talk to her."

"Honestly, Edward, I don't see anything bad happening. Beth just wants to talk." Alice's voice was gentle.

Edward's expression was strained. His eyes flickered from Alice to Sunny and then me before he sighed. "Alright, but only if you stay with me the entire time."

Sunny nodded enthusiastically and made to open the car door until she caught Edward's frown. She stayed put until he came and opened the door for her. The moment she was out of the car, he had one hand on her shoulder, guiding her back into the house.

Esme was sitting on the couch when we walked in. She got to her feet, approaching Edward and Sunny with concern written all over her face. "Are you sure this is a good idea, Edward? With so much change happening right now…" Her voice trailed off as her eyes fell to Sunny.

I knew that she was thinking what we all were thinking. What would talking to Beth do to Sunny emotionally? Would she become catatonic again after Beth leaves her a second time? Would we lose Sunny again? None of us had the answers.

Sunny approached Esme and took her hand. She didn't speak for a long moment but her expression filled with sadness as she stared into Esme's eyes. "I promise you won't lose me. I just have to say good-bye."

Esme smiled sadly, hugging Sunny to her tightly before turning to the rest of us. "Please keep an eye on her. If the situation seems to be too much…"

"We'll pull her out immediately, Esme. Don't worry." Alice reassured her.

Esme gave Sunny one last hug. "Listen to your brother and your sisters, Sunny. They know what's best. When they tell you to leave I want you to come right back down here, alright? No arguments."

Sunny nodded firmly then turned and walked back over to stand beside Edward and Alice. I caught the apprehension in Esme's expression as we all ascended the stairs.


	5. Chapter Five: Closure

**Love it? Hate it? TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME! :) PLEASE review!**

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**Clara's POV**

The closer we all got to the top of the stairs the more anxious I became. What was I going to say? Would my mom be mad at me? Would she think that I didn't want to be with her, that I didn't love her anymore? Edward gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze as I felt him read my thoughts. The slight pressure in my head began to ease when we finally were standing in front of my closed bedroom door.

I wanted to reach back and grab someone's hand but I thought better of it. Right now would be a bad time for sudden, vivid, emotional flashbacks. I felt the minor pressure in my head again as Edward drew me back against his side. He was the one who finally reached out and opened the door.

I heard the others gasp before I even had taken a step. Edward's grip suddenly became very rigid. My mom was sitting at the end of my bed, a patient, expectant smile on her face. She looked solid, not transparent, or indistinct, like I would expect a ghost to look. She looked whole. She looked like herself.

I tore my eyes away from her slowly to face the others. They all were wearing identical expressions of shock, staring right at the spot where my mom sat. "You can see her, too," I breathed, bewildered.

I heard the springs on the bed groan and turned back around. My mom was getting to her feet and coming closer to us. I heard a low growl erupt from both Alice and Edward at the same time, causing my mom to halt immediately. Her face was filled with concern. "I promise, I don't mean any harm. I just needed to see my child." Her voice was pleading. She took one cautious step closer.

No one moved, not even me. Edward's grip was still firm on my shoulder but he made no protests when my mom stopped a foot from me and knelt. With a soft smile on her face, she held her hand out to me.

At first, I was too stunned to budge. I didn't even realize that my arm had moved until I felt my mom's hand in mine. She was solid, warm, _real._ How? I collapsed into her arms. "Mom?" I questioned. I was barely aware of Edward's half uttered protest behind me but I heard Bella pleading with him to let me be.

My mom smiled at me sadly. "I don't have much time, Clara."

I couldn't let her go, not again. Esme was right; there was no way I could let my mom leave me for a second time. I clung to my mom for a long moment, reveling in the sensation of her arms around me again. Nothing about her had changed at all. She even smelled the way I remembered.

I, on the other hand, was completely different. I pulled back suddenly, my eyes wide with alarm. "I'm so sorry, Mom. I couldn't leave. I didn't want to die. I love Dr. Cullen and his family, they love me, and I just couldn't leave. I wasn't ready. And I didn't know what they were…well, not at first… but I knew Dr. Cullen could save me and he did. They all take such good care of me, I promise, they do!" There was so much more I wanted to say but she put her hand over my mouth and laughed.

"Sunny, I know that. It's all right. I always knew he would take care of you. I knew it from the moment we met him." Her emerald eyes flicked away from me for a moment to rest on Edward, Alice, and Bella before she looked back at me again. "You're right where I want you, darling. You're exactly where you belong."

I was in her arms again and, although my eyes were no longer capable of shedding tears, I was sobbing. "I was only allowed to come back to tell you that, Clara. You've been having such a hard time with all this." She pulled away to stare into my eyes again. "You have to let me go, Clara, it's the only way you'll heal. You have another family now that loves you as much as you love them. Let them in and be happy, baby. Please."

Now I was confused. "What do you mean? I do let them in…"

"No, Clara. You still don't believe that you're here with them to stay. That's what I mean. These are your siblings." Her eyes moved to Edward, Bella, and Alice again. "This is your home and this is your room." She let one arm sweep the room around her. "Carlisle and Esme, they are your new parents. Let them in. Let yourself believe that they want you. You _need _them."

I was shocked to realize that she was right. In fact, last night was the only time I could recall ever thinking of Edward and Carlisle as my brother and my father. I had never really referred to this as my bedroom. Yesterday was the first time I had ever thought of this house as home. I _was _blocking the process. I had no idea. "I'll try," I whispered.

My mom held me for one more long moment then kissed my cheek and abruptly pulled away. "I have to go now, Clara." She stood again and made her way to the broken window on the other side of the room.

"Where will you be? Where are you going?" My voice was pleading, my arms stretched out towards her. I couldn't do this. She couldn't leave me again.

"You'll dream about me, Sunny. When you need me again, you'll see me. I promise, I'm not going far." With that, she was gone.

I had no idea I was falling until Edward caught me. Without a word, he scooped me into his arms and carried me downstairs. When he placed me down on the couch beside Esme, I curled up into her, clinging to her silently as I stared blankly at the wall on the other side of the room.

We must have sat that way for a long time because when I finally looked away again, it was dark outside and Bella was gone. I frowned at Edward in confusion. "She had to go home," he whispered. I looked at the clock on the mantle. It was midnight. I gasped and pulled away from Esme. I had been sitting there in grief-stricken silence for eight hours.

I didn't realize that Carlisle was beside me on the couch until he put his arm around me. "It's alright, Sunny. You're fine."

I hugged him tight with a long sigh. He was right and I knew it. Finally, I allowed myself to feel it. I was with my family. I was where I belonged, just like my mom said. For the first time since coming into their lives, I felt like this is where I was supposed to be.

Edward came to stand behind where I sat on the couch, bending down to kiss the top of my head and run one hand down the length of my long, auburn hair. He was grinning. "So you're really ours now. It's official, is it?"

I beamed up at him and laughed. "Looks like it. And now that you're officially my big brother, I have a favor to ask." I smirked as I reached up for him.

He smiled cautiously, lifting me into his arms. "And what would that be?"

I glanced down at Esme and Carlisle and my smile faltered slightly. "Help me fix my bedroom window," I whispered.

Carlisle laughed. Esme, on the other hand, looked like she was about to blow a gasket. "Clara Elizabeth Cullen, what are you talking about? What about your bedroom window?"

Edward was already halfway up the stairs with me, laughing to himself. "I told you to fix it before Esme saw, didn't I?"

I sighed. "Do you think I'll gain any points for fixing it now?"

Edward was quiet for a moment then laughed to himself again. "Sunny, I think you'd better be a _very _good girl from now on."

"And don't you dare even _think _about jumping out of any more windows!" Esme added from downstairs.

Edward was still laughing when my bedroom door closed behind us.


	6. Chapter Six: Alice and the Tantrum

**Sorry it took so long to post this one. I had the hardest time deciding what to write about next. Too many ideas. LOL PLEASE REVIEW!!**

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**Clara's POV**

Even with my new vampire sight, everything was very dark. I was being wheeled down a long corridor, strapped down to a gurney as it moved closer and closer to a pair of double doors at the end of a hall. I could hear screaming. It took a moment for me to realize that it was coming from me. There were other voices around as well but they were muffled and indistinct. I felt a sense of dread as I was pushed closer to the doors. I didn't want to be where I was. There was something wrong with this hospital, something bad, evil.

The double doors opened and I was now surrounded by screaming that wasn't my own. There were more voices and these were clearer. Some of the voices screamed for help, some screamed for attention. Some were screams of pain. I was wheeled into a hospital room and finally the straps that held me were undone. My freedom was temporary. I was immediately lifted off the gurney and placed into a twin bed, only to be strapped down a second time.

I had no idea what was happening to me. I was confused. I found myself calling out. "How could you do this to me? Why? I am not crazy! I don't belong here! Do you hear me? I'm not crazy!"

I heard a familiar voice, pleading with me. "Clara, wake up. Please." I didn't understand. Everything went black before a series of random images suddenly burst into my head. The first was of a happy little girl playing with another girl. They looked so much alike they could have been sisters. There was another image of one of the girls, the smaller, dark haired one, holding her head, and screaming as people (what looked to be her family) looked on in horror. Then there was a doctor, not Carlisle, but an older man, picking a dark haired young woman up and stealing her away. The next image was of the same doctor bending over the girl and biting her neck. There was a flash of Jasper in a diner and another image of Alice and Jasper on the doorstep of a huge house that I didn't recognize.

That was when I noticed something solid in my right hand. I sat up with a start, staring around my room in total confusion. Alice was beside me on the bed. She was staring at me with a peculiar look of horror and desperation on her face. When I realized I was holding her arm, I let it drop from my fingers as if it had burned me. "Oh god, Alice!"

"Clara. You saw it…my life…my past" she gasped.

"I'm so sorry Alice. I must have turned in my sleep. I'm so sorry." My voice cracked. I would have cried if I could.

Alice was suddenly in my face, grasping my wrists in a hard grip, her eyes alight with eagerness and desperation. "Try again, Clara. Please, you have to." She picked up one of my hands and placed it back on her wrist herself.

Nothing happened. We stared down in shock at the same moment, both waiting expectantly, but after several moments, there was still nothing. I took my hand off her wrist for a moment before tentatively reaching out and taking her hand.

That did it. I got a flash of a couple standing by the gurney as it was being wheeled down that long, dark hallway of the hospital. The woman was crying. The man, who I assumed to be her husband, was stoic, completely unemotional.

I saw Alice, strapped to that gurney, screaming, thrashing, and pleading. I saw her fighting even after she was strapped down in bed, crying out long after she was alone in her room.

I saw the older doctor enter her room after she was quiet. Alice looked drugged. The doctor just stood by her side until she opened her eyes. He was older, balding with black, shadowed eyes. There were several more images of him watching Alice, protecting her, guarding her.

It seemed like the next image was of a time about a year after the others. Alice looked almost exactly the way she did now. The balding vampire doctor had Alice in his arms and was running frantically in the woods from some unseen menace. There was a brief glimpse of another vampire, a man with long blond hair, and red, wild eyes, obviously tracking something as he too raced through a wooded area. The vampire holding Alice suddenly stopped and looked down at her with apologetic, sorrowful eyes before he bent down and bit into her neck. The next thing I saw was Alice, alone and writhing in pain in the woods.

I finally let my hand drop from Alice's, feeling completely drained and exhausted. I couldn't bring myself to look at Alice as I slid off the bed to put some distance between us. I needed time to process what I had just seen, just as I was sure Alice needed time to digest what my ability had just revealed to her. Her family had abandoned her. A vampire had taken an interested in her and kept her safe. Another vampire had become a threat and that threat had forced her transformation.

It was then that I remembered the images that I had seen when I had inadvertently grabbed Alice's arm in my sleep. She had found Jasper in a diner. It looked as if that had taken place soon after her transformation. It looked to be in the same time-period. I let out a huge sigh as that thought sank in. I looked around me, reminding myself that I had seen the past. Alice was fine now, happy, and loved and safe.

When I finally managed to turn and face her, she was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me expectantly with her face resting in her hands. She actually looked as tired as I felt. "Are you alright?" My voice sounded rough with emotion and stress.

She stared at me for a long moment before getting to her feet slowly and approaching me, a look of apprehension now crossing her face. "Yes," she replied cautiously. "Clara, are _you _alright?" There was deep concern in her eyes as she watched me. I was confused.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Alice, what I saw…that had to hurt, finding out about all of that. I shouldn't have looked…I'm so sorry…"

To my utter amazement, Alice shrugged. "I already knew that part."

I just blinked at her. "You _knew_?"

She laughed at my bewildered expression. "I did research last year. I knew I had been abandoned in the hospital. I found out two years ago that I was turned by one of the doctors after another vampire, a tracker, took an interest in me."

At least this all wasn't as much of a shock to her as it was to me. I nodded slowly, all of the emotion that it had taken to get through watching my vision finally became too much. Alice had me in her arms before my legs gave out. I found myself sitting on the bed again a moment later. The exuberance that radiated off Alice's personality whenever I was around her helped to lift some of the fatigue I was feeling. I frowned at her. "You could have told me that you knew that part. You should have stopped me, Alice." A whimper escaped my lips. "My god, Alice. That was horrible."

She reached out silently and put her arm around my shoulders. Her voice was soft and apologetic. "You're right. I am so sorry, Clara. I wasn't thinking. I just…I had so many questions for so long, things that I couldn't find in my research. When you had that vision, my curiosity got the better of me." Her voice was filled with sadness, "please forgive me, Clara. I shouldn't have let you see that. It was selfish. I'm so sorry."

I threw my arms around her neck. I couldn't help it. I knew that she had no memories of her past. I knew that she had been alone when she awoke to her new life as a vampire. How could I be angry with her for wanting to fill in the blanks? She had a right to know. "No, Alice. You're not selfish. I would have done the same thing in your place. I'll try again sometime, ok? Later, when I feel better, I'll look again. I'll help you get your answers, ok? Don't be sorry."

She pulled away from me, looking intently in my eyes, searching for confirmation of my resolve. She grinned as she saw it. I meant every word of my promise. I was going to help Alice and she knew it. She nodded firmly once then abruptly got to her feet in front of me. "So, now how do you feel?" She was eyeing me critically.

I smirked at her sudden mood swing and slowly got to my feet. "I'm alright," I managed. The fatigue was passing and the idea that I could help Alice with her questions made me feel much happier.

She nodded again as she took my hand and pulled me toward the bedroom door. "Good. We have work to do. You need school supplies and new school clothes." She looked back at me with the same critical expression. "Maybe we should do something new with your hair."

I would have laughed at her if I could manage to get it out over the knot in my stomach. "School? You mean you're making me go back? Now?" I looked down at myself pointedly. "Alice, how the heck am I gonna go back? _Look _at me! I don't look human! What am I going to do if I accidentally touch someone? I can't control my abilities! This is bad, Alice. This is a really, _really_ bad idea!" I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate.

Alice stopped short and put both hands firmly on my shoulders, staring into my eyes sternly. "Calm down," she commanded slowly. "Edward, Rose, Emmett, Jasper, and I do this every single year, Sunny. You'll learn. Don't worry."

Easy for _her _to say, she wasn't going to have to fend for herself in a strange place when she had no control over her abilities. _She _wasn't going to have to go through anything all alone.

Alone. I'll have to go into this completely alone. I whimpered again as this thought sank in. "I can't do this by myself, Alice. I can't."

Alice pulled me tight against her. "I'll be watching you all the time, Clara. You won't really be alone…and Edward, you _know _he'll be mentally checking in every few minutes. Do not worry about this."

Without waiting for a response, she dragged me down the hall. "Anyway, we still have a few days to work out the details. Right now, we have more important things to worry about."

I just let her pull me along behind her. I was still too terrified by the idea of being all alone around human strangers for eight hours a day to pay attention to anything else. _More important things. Right, _I thought. What was more important than figuring out how I was going to get through even one day of school without exposing the entire family for what we were? If I made even one mistake, one minor slip and our entire world could end. How could they all think this was a good idea? How could Carlisle and Esme not object? What were they all thinking? They obviously had _way_ too much faith in me to even consider letting me do this.

I _had _to talk to them. They _had _to understand how horrible this idea was. I wasn't ready. I couldn't do this. They _had _to see that it was too soon.

I didn't realize that we had stopped moving until Alice gave me a firm shake. "Clara! You're panicking again. Stop it!"

I blinked, shaking my head firmly to clear it while I tried to get my erratic breathing under control. "Ok," I finally breathed after several minutes, "I'm good now."

Alice was staring into my eyes intently, studying my face for any sign that I would lose it again. I tried to smile. "Really, Alice. I'm fine." My smile slipped a bit as I listened for any other signs of life in the house. "Where is everyone?"

Alice sighed heavily. "Hunting. Well, Jasper, Rose, Emmett, and Esme are hunting. Carlisle is at the hospital and Edward is with Bella." Her eyes narrowed at me. "And _you're_ not obsessing over this now. We've all discussed this thoroughly, Clara. I don't see there being any problems with letting you go back. You're getting yourself all worked up over nothing. You need to calm down."

"You all _discussed _ this already…without me, Alice? _Really?" _I yanked my arms out of her grip, glaring at her. "How could you _do _that?"

She sighed in exasperation. "Oh, for the love of…"

But I didn't let her finish. I was already down the stairs and had the front door open when I heard Emmett's giant jeep enter the garage. Without even thinking about it, I slammed the front door and wheeled around, changing course and stomping towards the garage. _They are going to talk to me! We are all going to be on the same page! I am NOT going back yet! They have to understand!_

With all these thoughts rushing through my mind, I thrust open the garage door and stomped towards my family.


End file.
